Hypnotherapy for Social Anxiety
Dreading walking into a room full of people? Replaying every word you said for hours afterwards? Letting calls go to voicemail, cancelling plans, or staying quiet so nobody notices you? Your mind isn't broken. At some point it learned that being judged wasn't safe. Advanced hypnosis finds out when, and switches the fear off. Whether you're in Rugby, London or the other side of the world, we can do this together on Zoom, from the comfort of your own home.
Is this you?
You rehearse what you're going to say before you say it, then replay it for hours afterwards.
You let the phone ring out and wait for the voicemail.
You arrive early or late so you don't have to walk into a room full of people.
You cancel plans at the last minute, then feel guilty and lonely.
You hate eating in front of people, ordering at the counter or asking for help in a shop.
Your face goes red, your mind goes blank, and you're sure everyone can tell.
You stand at the edge of the group holding your phone, waiting for it to be over.
You go home and pick apart everything you said.
If any of that is you, you're not shy, rude or weird, and you're not alone. Social anxiety is a fear of being judged, and it's one of the things I help people with most. Your mind learned that being noticed wasn't safe, and advanced hypnosis can change that.
What is social anxiety?
Social anxiety is an intense fear of being watched, judged, embarrassed or rejected by other people. Everyone feels nervous sometimes. Social anxiety is when that fear starts running your life: what you say yes to, where you go, and who you let yourself be.
It's different from general anxiety. With general anxiety, you worry about everything. With social anxiety, the fear is about people and what they might think of you. If your anxiety is more about worry, overthinking and panic attacks, read my page on hypnotherapy for anxiety.
Social anxiety symptoms
In your body
Blushing, sweating, shaking, a racing heart, a shaky voice, feeling sick, needing the loo, and your mind going blank.
In your thoughts
"Everyone's looking at me." "They think I'm stupid." "I'll say something wrong." "They don't really like me." "I'll make a fool of myself."
In what you do
Avoiding eye contact, avoiding calls, cancelling plans, having a drink to get through social events, staying quiet, leaving early, and replaying it all afterwards.
Why does my mind think people are judging me?
Your mind's number one job is to keep you safe. For most of human history, being rejected by the group really was dangerous. So when your mind decides people might judge you, it reacts as if your life depends on it.
In my experience of working with clients, social anxiety almost always started earlier in life. Being laughed at or bullied at school. A parent who was critical, or always worried about what people would think. Being told to be quiet, not to show off, or that you were too much. Being left out. Your mind made a rule back then that being seen isn't safe, and it's still following that rule today.
In an RTT session we go back to where that rule was made, and your mind gets to update it. When the old meaning goes, the fear has nothing left to hold on to.
How to overcome social anxiety: what actually helps
Stop avoiding, a little at a time
Every time you avoid something, your mind learns it was dangerous. Small steps, like making one phone call or staying ten minutes longer, teach it the opposite.
Breathe out for longer than you breathe in
In for 4, out for 7. A long out-breath tells your body you're safe and stops the blushing and shaking building up.
Put your attention on the other person
Social anxiety turns your attention inwards, onto how you look and sound. Get curious about the other person instead. Ask them a question and really listen.
Why tips only go so far
These help in the moment. But if the fear comes from an old memory, tips sit on top of it, and the fear is still there next time. That's where hypnotherapy and RTT are different: we change what your mind believes about being seen and judged.
Ways I can help with social anxiety
RTT for social anxiety
One deep session finds where the fear started and changes the belief behind it. You also get a personal recording made just for you, to listen to every day for 21 days, so the change sets in.
A client told me: "I can't believe it. I went out for a meal with my friends. I wasn't scanning the room and worrying about who was looking at me or staring at me. I just felt really calm. In fact, it just felt like I'd never had it. It's like you've switched something off in my mind. And I love the recordings that you've given me."
Coaching to build your confidence
Alongside RTT, coaching sessions help you take the next steps in the real situations you've been avoiding, so your new confidence shows up in your everyday life.
Social anxiety at work
Speaking up in meetings, making phone calls, networking, interviews, and the work Christmas party. If your fear is mainly about speeches and presentations, read my page on hypnotherapy for fear of public speaking.
Children and teenagers
I work with children from age 5. Children who won't speak up in class, dread school, avoid parties, or freeze around other children. The earlier we change it, the less it follows them into adult life.
Social anxiety downloads and free confidence hypnosis (coming soon)
I'm creating ready-made hypnosis downloads for social anxiety, confidence, phone calls and walking into a room, plus free confidence hypnosis on YouTube. If you'd like to be told when they're ready, send me a message.
Tell me what you've been avoiding.
Why choose me as your social anxiety hypnotherapist?
I'm an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist, Advanced RTT Therapist and RTT Trainer, NLP Master Practitioner, and one of Marisa Peer's earliest RTT trainers. I've trained therapists in London, New York, Amsterdam and Dubai, and I've spoken on stage at the New York Academy of Medicine.
I also know what it's like to live with anxiety, because I lived with anxiety and depression for years before I found the way out.
There's no such word as can't. If your mind learned to be afraid of people, it can learn to feel calm, confident and comfortable being yourself.
Social anxiety, depression and confidence: how they feed each other
Social anxiety rarely comes alone. Avoiding people leads to loneliness and low mood, and low mood makes it even harder to go out. Many people also drink to get through social situations. When we change the belief underneath, people usually notice their confidence and mood lift together.
Hypnotherapy for social anxiety near me? Online, wherever you are
I'm based in Rugby, Warwickshire, and I work with adults and children across the UK and around the world on Zoom. For social anxiety, that's a real help: no waiting room, no travelling, just you, relaxed in your own home.
So whether you're searching for hypnotherapy for social anxiety near me, in London, Birmingham, Manchester, Coventry, Leicester or anywhere else in the world, I'm as close as your laptop.
How much is hypnotherapy for social anxiety?
Everyone is different, so I don't do one-size-fits-all prices. Some people need one session, others need a programme of RTT and coaching, and some just need a recording. We talk first, I look at where you are, and I tell you honestly what I think you need. The choice is always yours.
Hypnotherapy for social anxiety: frequently asked questions
Can hypnotherapy help with social anxiety?
Yes. Hypnotherapy works with the part of your mind where the fear lives, which is why it can help when talking about it and pushing through it haven't. We talk first, and I tell you honestly whether I think I can help.
What is the difference between social anxiety and shyness?
Shyness is feeling a bit awkward at first, then warming up. Social anxiety is when the fear stops you doing things you want to do, and you're still picking it apart days later.
What causes social anxiety?
In my experience, it usually starts with early experiences of being judged, criticised, embarrassed or left out. Your mind decided being noticed wasn't safe, and it's been protecting you ever since.
Can social anxiety go away on its own?
For some people it eases, but for many it gets worse the more they avoid things. You don't have to wait and hope.
How many sessions will I need for social anxiety?
Many people need one RTT session plus their personal recording. Others have more going on, like depression or low confidence, and need a programme of RTT and coaching. We talk first and I tell you what I think.
Can you help my child or teenager with social anxiety?
Yes. I work with children from age 5. We talk first, and I tell you honestly how I can help.
I take medication for anxiety. Can I still have hypnotherapy?
Yes, many of my clients do. Never stop or change your medication without speaking to your GP. Obviously, if you're working with a doctor, do what they say.
Does hypnotherapy for social anxiety work on Zoom?
Yes. In my experience it works just as well, and for social anxiety it's often easier, because you're in your own home with no waiting room.
How do I find the best hypnotherapist for social anxiety?
Look for someone with years of experience rather than a weekend certificate, who works on why you're afraid rather than just giving you tips, and who has real reviews from real clients. I'm an Advanced RTT therapist and RTT trainer, and you can read my clients' Google reviews.
Who is hypnotherapy not suitable for?
If you have epilepsy or psychosis, or you're under a psychiatrist, message me first before booking.
Ready to walk into a room and feel like yourself?